Although it’s a little late for that.

Which begs the question: Where's my apology, Dave?

Since then, dirtier details have trickled out, and Letterman has apologized some more (many say at the insistence of his wife, Regina Lasko), all of which, made him look lame with a capital L. This whole scandal brings up two things (let's just call them Holly theories) that I would have told Lasko if she were one of my girls.

Theory #1: Some men just aren't the marrying kind.
I know this sounds crazy coming from someone whose husband took seven years to propose, but seven isn't 23, Gina! Besides, I don't think Letterman ever wanted to get married. He was clearly able to rationalize sleeping around while in a supposedly committed relationship, since he wasn't married to Lasko when the affairs took place. Talk about getting off on a technicality.

It makes me cringe now to think that, postwedding, Letterman came out and talked about resisting marriage for more than two decades, thinking of himself as "the last of the great gunslingers,” and I (along with everyone else) thought it was cute. But he also shared that when his truck got stuck in the mud on his wedding day, he thought it might be a sign that he was making the wrong decision. Here's the deal: A guy who's ready for marriage isn't looking to the universe for signs about whether it's a good idea or not ON HIS WEDDING DAY! Did it sound like I was screaming those words in all caps? Good, because I totally was.

Theory #2: Ugly guys treat women way, way worse than hot guys do.
Okay, hear me out for just a sec before you post that enraged comment. I have more than one girlfriend who has admitted (long after the fact) to having dated an ugly guy, secretly believing that said ug would feel so lucky he'd do nothing but worship and adore her. Cut to ug hitting on her sister, her best friend, and her boss. My counterintuitive theory? Ugly guys have more to prove and therefore treat women more shabbily. Now I'll admit I don't think Letterman is downright ugly -- but this is Hollywood we are talking about -- so there's a looks conversion chart similar to people/dog years. My point? Letterman's a nerd made really, really good -- and he might have had a score to settle since high school.

Think I'm crazy? Evil-slash-shallow? One hundred percent right? What?