What happens when we let go of a dream?
Many of us feel a surprising amount of pressure -- from friends, from family and sometimes from ourselves -- to live the norm, rather than pursue a pie-in-the-sky goal. So we push it off, thinking we'll return to it later. But then later never happens. "The temptation to put together a life that is materially comfortable and makes sense to others is strong," says Jenna Buffaloe, J.D., M.A., a personal and executive coach with the international consulting company Axialent. "We may have a dream, and secretly long for its manifestation, but we feel conflicted. We also want to belong, to make sense to others, to have material comforts."

The trouble comes when you wake up one day and realize your life has only become more complex, and your dream even less likely to happen. "It's like a field of poppies," says Buffaloe. "We think we'll just take a little nap and then are shocked to wake up 10 years later. In those 10 years we may have put together a life that we once thought would make us happy, but then we look around and find there is some missing soulfulness -- life is not juicy."

Buffaloe says there are real dangers in abandoning a dream. "Depression and anxiety are often caused by some blockage in our life energy," she says. "When we can reconnect with that life that has been cut off, we reconnect with all the passion and awareness that makes life worth living."

Reconnecting with your passion: First steps
Once you've recognized the desire to revisit your dream, get clear about the specifics. Buffaloe suggests starting a conversation with the disowned part of yourself that originally had the dream. "I recommend journaling, especially in the early morning," she says. "Ask yourself the question, 'What do I really, really, really want?' and then just keep your hand moving. It doesn't matter if it makes sense. As you keep writing, you will access deeper and deeper places, and what comes out may surprise you. Don't censor yourself with what's 'realistic.' It's important to be realistic, but not too soon. The first step is expansive. Allow yourself to explore the question, 'If I had a magic wand, what would my life look like? What would happen?'"

Once you've identified your true goal, let go of any guilt that's holding you back. Finite time and resources, for instance, may make your dream seem selfish. But according to Buffaloe, the opposite may be true. "Another possibility is that it is selfish not to pursue your dream," says Buffaloe. "Your spouse, your children, your boss and your employees do not want to be in a relationship with a shell of who you are. They want you. And unless you are expressing yourself in some way that feels authentic, you will be wreaking havoc on your relationships and your work. You may blame them for their demands, rather than feeling the emotion behind the blame: frustration that you have abandoned yourself."

What if you go for it ... and fail?
Sometimes it feels safer to avoid pursuing a dream for fear that, if you try, you may find out for sure that it never could have happened. Once you go for it, what happens if you flop on your face? "Failure is not only possible -- if your dream is big enough, it is likely," says Buffaloe. "But it is incredibly liberating to realize that even if you fail, you will be fine. You'll be more than fine; you will be enhanced by your failure."

Buffaloe says that in failure your life becomes richer, because you'll ultimately land on your feet and discover internal resources you didn't know you had. "You will either be victorious, or you will be enhanced by the experience that did not go as planned," says Buffaloe. "The only real failure is dying without knowing who you are. Going for a dream is the best way to find out who you really are."