I knew that Jack was drop-dead gorgeous, an old-school gentleman with amazing taste in music, a great kisser, a brilliant singer/songwriter, and a total romantic.

I also knew that he had a pretty crappy job, lived in the tiniest studio apartment I'd ever seen (with a bathroom I nicknamed the Turkish prison), drank a crazy amount of coffee, and smoked like a chimney (full disclosure: we both did back then). But mostly, I knew it was already as serious as a heart attack.

Things I didn't know that you kinda should before marriage:
1. If he wanted kids (he does, but is still a little scared)
2. What his family was like (solid and loving, but way more religious and involved in each other's lives than mine)
3. If he was a serial killer (okay, so my gut said no even back then, but still!) (PS He isn’t.)
4. If he was ambitious enough to propel himself on to better things (thankfully, yes)
5. If he could argue (okay, fight) with me in a nontoxic way (he can -- in fact, he's probably the single best communicator I've ever met)

So, yeah, Jack’s still a gentleman and the best-looking thing I've ever seen. But a lot has changed. Mostly, things other women might have written him off for right away. He no longer lives in a teensy studio in a dicey neighborhood, and though I wouldn't say he has his dream job, it’s a pretty darn good one. Oh, and we both stopped smoking and cut way back on coffee.

Jack's right: There were kinks that needed to be worked out before we got engaged. Sure, I was frustrated that it took him so long to pop the question, but I'm also glad that when he finally came to the table, he did so without reservations. We were both so sure. Still are.

This is not to say that everything wrapped itself up into a neat little bow before we got married. My messy closet still scares the hell out of him, and the speed at which he moves still drives me insane. But I think we needed all that time to know that we could live with some of each other’s quirks -- and work on the others.

So come on. What did you (and didn’t you) know about your honey at the 30-day mark?