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He Said: I Love You, Now Change
777Date: Sunday, 24 Oct 2010, 15.17 | Message # 1
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Holly just emailed me a bunch of food blog links -- example A, example B -- and suggested I pick a recipe to learn to make. She thought it might make a good topic for my entry this week. I think she figured I'd write something funny about how I've only cooked three meals during the entire time we've been together. But to tell you the truth, the whole thing pissed me off.

Here's the deal: I don't want to learn to cook. I have dug deep and found zero interest. There, I said it. But I feel like I do so many other things to help shoulder the household workload, that she should let me off the hook for stuff like not cooking. I know this sounds really boring and lame but it's exactly the sort of thing that causes arguments in every relationship. To simplify, I feel like her jokey little suggestions are really criticisms, and they make me feel unappreciated for all the things I do do. Meanwhile, she feels like my reactions are totally nutso and claims she didn't mean to criticize. I suppose we're both right (or wrong as the case may be).

So here's my question: How can couples make suggestions and requests without making the other one feel overly criticized?


 
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