There's a great post on Marriage Confessions about how blogger Katie Brown wants her husband to treat her when she's completely "in it." It's so funny because it's so specific ("I want you to ignore me."). And it definitely makes me sympathize with men. I mean there's no universal manual that they can refer to for this stuff. They just have to try everything and get shut down until they finally hit on the perfect combo (for example: chocolate and averting their eyes). So here's mine:
1. Ask me if I'm ready to talk about it. There's a window of time when I've just started to freak out about something but can't really articulate it yet -- when questioning me too much will only stress me out more. This quicky question saves Jack a ton of misery.
2. Let me vent. And once I'm ready to blab, just listen. Nodding is good. Asking for more detail is great. Comments like "That sounds a little delusional" are extremely unwise.
3. Ask me if I'm ready for advice.
Unlike many people I know, I happen to love getting advice. Except when I don't. Occasionally, I prefer to marinate in resentment for a smidge before springing into action. On those occasions, it is best not to try to sell me on a 12-pronged Battle Plan to a Better You program even if you (Jack) did spend hours crafting an awesome PowerPoint presentation.
So husbands, here's my tip: Go ask your wife (yes, right now) to submit her list. Then, keep it in your wallet at all times. You can thank me later.
Ladies -- feel free to submit your list of "handling" rules below.