Newlywed and Lemondrop editor-in-chief Carrie Sloan says that fear of the word wife (and all its cliched trappings) made her nervous to take the plunge. According to her recent post, the mere word made her picture a life filled with bonnets and hot stoves. I totally understand. Full disclosure: As I type, I am (as always) wearing a fluffy bonnet while preparing a rack of lamb for my man. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is called sarcasm. Anyway, Sloan goes on to say that she wants (and actually has) a marriage where no one person shoulders all of the traditional responsibilities of either a husband or wife. She suggests ditching the old-fashioned terms "husband" and "wife," in favor of the more merge-tastic wusband and hife.
First of all, the problems I have with the word wusband could fill a book. Not the least of which being that it sounds like something that gets yelled out on Jerry Springer, i.e. "turn that HUSBAND into a WUSBAND!" I mean doesn't it sound past tense? This whole ridiculousness reminds me of a lesbian wedding I went to last summer in Provincetown (both girls were close friends and I had volunteered to do the makeup). A slurry woman we met at the bar was trying to make the word hersband happen. She kept suggesting it to my lesbian friends who were like, "Pfffff!" They thought it was beyond hilarious because they were smart enough to get that some things matter (things like being able to actually get married), and some things don't (um...really dumb words).
So, yes, I want Jack to do the dishes. Yes, I enjoy the fact that he puts time and energy into his appearance. Yes, I like it when he has awesome decorating ideas. But there's already a word for the kind of modern husband that he is -- it's called husband.
Discuss.