Anxiety, feelings of being overwhelmed, and even procrastination and self-pity are often symptoms of fearfulness -- fear of being fully alive, fear of death, fear of meaninglessness, fear of growing old. Once I saw the insidious ways that fear was ruling me, I began to learn about everything I could possibly do to dissolve it. I'm going to share one idea, an idea so small that it's easy to overlook, yet can open the way to a far more courageous, alive life.

To thrive in the face of fear, uncertainty and even deep grief, you first need to acknowledge that you don't want to do anything to make yourself feel better.

"What?! I don't want to feel like my head is going to pop off. I want to feel good."

The truth is, most of you wants to feel better. But parts of you don't. Like all of us, you contain a multitude of selves, and some of those selves hate change, even if it's shifting from "My head is going to pop off" to "I can handle what life brings my way." These aspects must be acknowledged or they can keep you stuck -- for years.

'I don't feel like doing anything' -- and that's OK
Have you ever seen a tired, fearful child trying to get her parent's attention? Mom keeps putting off the child, and the child's behavior keeps escalating until she gets undivided attention. Once the parent gives the child loving attention, the child, in most cases, calms down.

Parts of you and me are like that child. Before you can deal with your fear, before you can take action to create a life you love, you must acknowledge the resistance, the whiny voice that says, "I don't want to do anything! I just want this all to go away!"

By simply acknowledging -- without judgment -- that you don't want to do anything (even fun things like taking a bath or going to yoga), you extend mercy and compassion to yourself. In doing so, you calm the parts of you that are freaking out. You stop the inner rebellion that typically results in you not doing anything (that's how procrastination starts) or nurturing yourself in ways that don't truly nourish you, like watching hours of TV or eating a pint of ice cream.

Love equals acknowledgment
This doesn't mean you let yourself be ruled by the parts of you that don't want to do anything to feel better. The parent does not give the child whatever she wants -- even if the child is throwing a tantrum in the grocery store. Loving acknowledgment actually restores the wise you to the center of your life, freeing you to choose what you want to do and opening up to life instead of shutting yourself down.

So, when you're feeling squirrelly, whiny or stuck, take yourself by the hand and say something like, "I don't feel like doing anything, but I can acknowledge how I feel without being impressed by it. I can accept that I am feeling this way, even if only for a blink of an eye. And when this part of myself feels heard, I can ask, 'What is one thing I can do to be kind to myself right now?'"

Love, which is what acknowledgment really amounts to, is truly the great fear dissolver. Acknowledge your resistance and watch yourself bloom!